Get Your Family Involved in Funeral Planning

Mark Roberts • September 16, 2023

When death is near or has just occurred, there are so many things to do and yet there is nothing you can do. You feel helpless. You can’t make the person well or bring them back. But you know you will, very soon, need to make many decisions about the service, the final resting place, the music, food, flowers, donations, clothing and much more. Your mind is racing and oddly enough, at the same time, at a complete standstill. On one hand it feels like it is too soon to do anything. You’re just not ready. But at the same time, you feel the weight of all that is coming.

This is stress. It is hard. If you can, reach out to your family and friends and let them help you. Have your son or daughter get the older grandchildren involved in pulling together pictures and music. They are really good at this stuff. Going through the pictures brings back happy memories and it’s one of the most therapeutic chores that comes with funeral preparation. Let them do something that will help them - they are dealing with this loss too.

If would you would like family and friends to donate to a charity, put someone in charge of looking into that. Have your daughter-in-law pull together a few clothing choices for your final selection. Send your son-in-law to the cemetery or have him get the cars washed. You may want to delegate the task of writing the eulogy and obituary. Give someone the job of gathering information for the funeral luncheon or brunch.

Spread the work around. Let go, embrace help and give them something to do. You’ll feel better that things are getting done and they’ll feel better because they are involved and helping.

www.randallroberts.com

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Cremation After the Funeral Service

By Mark Roberts • February 5, 2025

Cremation rates have been on the rise in the United States for many years, and it’s becoming more and more common for funeral homes to be holding funerals for loved ones who will be cremated. But how does funeral planning work when your loved one will be cremated?

What is an Ossuary?

By Mark Roberts • February 5, 2025

Today’s ossuaries are very different in that they do not require exhumation and reburial of bones. Ossuaries today consist of an above ground tomb/marker and an underground vault. Cremated remains, usually contained in a soft material bag inscribed with the name, birth date, and death date of the deceased are dropped into the vault where they rest in community with others.

What is a Columbarium Niche?

By Mark Roberts • January 6, 2025

A columbarium niche is a final resting place for ashes after cremation. Niches are above ground and are most often built into a wall. The wall is made up of individual compartments that hold an urn containing the ashes of one individual. Columbarium niches are available at many cemeteries and some churches.

Funeral Word Quiz

By Mark Roberts • January 6, 2025

Find out how much you know about funeral service. Match the definition to the words below. See how well you do.

10 Ways to Customize a Funeral

By Mark Roberts • January 6, 2025

Funerals aren’t one-size-fits-all. One of the most important steps in funeral planning is customization. How is this funeral right for your loved one? How are you celebrating your loved one’s life through everything from the floral arrangements to the clothing they’re wearing? What makes this funeral uniquely your loved one’s funeral? Here are a few ways to customize a funeral for your loved one.

Flowers and Funerals

By Mark Roberts • January 6, 2025

What’s the story behind flowers at a funeral? Well, back in the day before funeral directors perfected the art and science of embalming, flowers were used to mask the odor of the body.

Cremation Society or Funeral Home

By Mark Roberts • November 26, 2024

Cremation, like electric cars and cell phones is here to stay. For some people cremation is part of their religious practice. For other people, cremation just feels right for them. The big question is who should help you with your cremation, a society or a funeral director?

What To Expect with Cremation?

By Mark Roberts • November 26, 2024

Cremation has been around for thousands of years. It is required by some faiths and forbidden by others. Governments, charged with protection of the public health and aesthetic of the community, have laws governing both cremation and burial practices. One way to view burial and cremation is to look at each as a means to the same end. Dust to dust.

Memorial Service – Does My Casket or Urn Need to Be Present?

By Mark Roberts • April 5, 2024

A memorial service differs from a traditional funeral service in that it takes place after final disposition. Final disposition is either the cremation or burial of the deceased. So, the answer is no—neither the urn nor the casket need to be present at a memorial service. That said, in the case of a memorial service following cremation the urn may be present if that is the family’s desire.

Five Tips to Help with the Year of Firsts

By Mark Roberts • April 5, 2024

The first year following the death of someone dear—a parent, a child, a sibling, a spouse, or a good friend—is frequently referred to as “the year of firsts.” It will be the first time the holidays, birthdays, and the occasions both sad and happy that were shared and witnessed with the person who has passed will come and go alone, without the loved one. For most people it is a tough year. Still there are things that can be done to make experiencing these milestones easier.